Kacha Kacha, the Nagoya-imported teppanyaki hut at riverside mall Asiatique, fits the cliché of a restaurant at a tourist destination: below-average food at over-inflated prices. While Asiatique draws in tourists from all over the world, it’s perhaps telling that this eatery is frequented almost exclusively by Thais perhaps more preoccupied with sailing down the river to take photos and hang out than eating a good meal. Apart from the menu put together by Japanese chefs, Kacha Kacha also tries to give the setting a real Japanese feel by using traditional carpentry techniques, so expect a distinct absence of nails. This Nippon vibe is carried over by the vigorous staff who yell in Japanese at the top of their lungs to welcome new guests to their table. The menu here focuses on teppanyaki (grill) with some sushi and Japanese salads. The meat comes in small portions; for example, you can order specific chicken parts or just opt for moriawase (grill chicken assorted set, B220/B420). Though it looks grand, the taste just doesn’t measure up. On our last visit, the meat had been grilled for far too long, making it stiff and hard to get off the sticks. What’s more, the taste was so bland it had us dreaming of our local street-level grilled meat stall. The tonteki (pork steak, B350) is another massive let-down; totally flavorless even with plenty of sauce. The ika tama (squid okonomiyaki, B220) and yakisoba (stir-fried noodles, B200) similarly feature very bland, uninspired sauces, while the chiritori nabe (hot soup topped with mixed vegetables and pork on hot pan, B480) is just as absent on the palate. The food here doesn’t come close to what you’ll find at Japanese restaurants all over town, and we don’t think Asiatique’s setting is a good enough excuse to visit. There are a multitude of eateries in the mall, so that Kacha Kacha is simply best avoided altogether. Corkage B300-B500.